The Science Behind Bipolar

See the symptoms, understand the science

I’ve given the symptoms of Bipolar several times; how I feel because of Bipolar. But I thought it was time I describe some of the facts- the reasons behind the symptoms- the science that makes me act and feel the way that I do.

Most of what I talk about, I’m pulling from an article I found. It is one of the best articles because it’s easy to understand, doesn’t go into too much detail, but touches on several aspects about the Bipolar brain that can give us a nice overview of the disorder. I have found this information in several other articles as I’ve tried to understand what is happening to me, but this article is a good summary. If you want to read the full article, go here; https://pronghornpsych.com/how-does-bipolar-disorder-affect-the-brain/

I mostly call Bipolar either “Bipolar”, or a lot of the time, “my mental illness”. But there are several people who are rallying to call it a “Brain Disorder”. They find that more people understand that there is something actually going wrong in our brains that way, instead of just our imaginations. Just like any other body part can be disfunctional, so can our brains. And just like any other disorder, if our brains are not functioning properly, we have several symptoms that “reveal” a problem or several.

One aspect that’s going haywire inside my head are neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters are the keys to moving information to and from the neurons, and through the neuronal network in the brain. Most people have a set number of neurotransmitters in their system. Someone with Bipolar has a kind of “chemical imbalance” in their brain that changes the amount of neurotransmitters. No one knows the cause (really, of anything that happens in a bipolar brain… if we did, we might be closer to a cure, but there is no cure.), so we just treat the symptoms as best we know how.

It’s called Bipolar, or manic depression, because it refers to 2 sides of the same coin. The coin is our energy level. It changes depending on the levels of neurotransmitters. If the neurotransmitter norepinephrine has a high number, it is likely I will be hypomanic that day, with symptoms like:

• invincibility

• racing thoughts

• jumpy and touchy

• impulsive

But, if I have low levels of the same, I may feel more depressed…

• lathargic

• paranoid

• unable to focus or concentrate on anything

• anxious and depressed

• uninterested in doing or saying anything

The same is true of the neurotransmitter, serotonin. If I have high levels, I can hop into a hypomanic episode:

• restless

• anxious

• irritated

• higher than life

If I have low levels of serotonin, I could plunge into depression:

• low self-esteem and feeling worthless

• insomnia

• poor appetite

• depression

You can tell just by these two neurotransmitters, that I can be all sorts of mentally and emotionally messed up… and what if norepinephrine is high, but serotonin is low? I might experience a mixed episode, where I have symptoms of both mania and depression. This is dangerous because a mixed episode is where those of us with Bipolar are more tempted to do things like hurt ourselves or even die by suicide.

Guys- and that’s just one side of it. There are changes in the brain, too. The hippocampus can shrink up to half it’s size, causing problems with my memory, and makes it more difficult to be able to regulate how I respond emotionally to various situations. It also causes depression (which might explain why I’m depressed a lot more than I’m manic), and a lot of frustration and irritability.

Bipolar can also reduce the amount of gray matter in the brain. Gray matter is responsible for:

• process information, thoughts, and feelings

• control impulses and senses

• regulate motor skills like reaction time, balance, drawing, speech, and writing

There are more issues with cognitive functioning that were not included in this article. Word retrieval is a big one for me- I have a harder time trying to explain myself… and I just feel stupid. Brain Fog is another. I can feel that my brain isn’t as sharp as it used to be… and no, it’s not because I’m just not using it the same way, it’s because Bipolar is eating away at my brain. I do a really good job at hiding the cognitive side- I don’t talk about it because it’s embarrassing for me. When you used to be and feel “smart”, then you’re dragging your brain along behind you, trying to get it to pick up its feet and walk on its own like it used to… It’s really frustrating for me. Especially when nobody believes me.

But it’s these things, especially the grey matter problems, that I want to focus my attention. I told you not too long ago about an experiment I wanted to try on myself. I feel my brain starting to slip away from me, and I’m NOT okay with that. I’ve been learning for years about something called the Brain Dance that might help me slow or avoid the symptoms of Bipolar cognitive decline and brain fog.

We’re about to enter into the fall. Usually at about October, I enter into a really bad depression- just part of my cycle- where I feel cognitive decline and brain fog quite strongly. Starting in September- one month- I will start this experiment where I will do the brain dance for at least 10 minutes every day. I want to see for myself if the brain dance will at least ease my cognitive difficulties during this time. I plan on doing this experiment for 6 months- till at least February, maybe even through March and see if this year’s “fall crash” as I call it, will be any better than last year.

I will measure experience by journal entries. I’ve developed an *almost complete list of questions to help me remember what the entries and the experiment are for- and I’ll do those once a week- best I can.

I know I’ve given you a lot of information today, so I’ll save the rest for next time.