6 Reasons Why I'm Telling
A week ago, I described a few reasons why many people with Bipolar keep it to themselves and don't talk about their mental illness. Today, I will describe the reasons that I DO talk about my mental illness (others share my feelings).
6. To answer their questions
So many people have heard the word "bipolar" without understanding what that really entails. I've gotten the surprised look when I disclose my diagnosis, and then on come the questions. How often do I get depressed? What exactly is mania? Why is mania a bad thing? Of course, the more I talk about it, the more questions come up. When people understand why I act the way that I do, or what I face on a daily basis, they become more compassionate. This leads me to my next point.
5. To explain my behaviors
Bipolar influences my behavior a great deal- no matter how well I manage it. I still have moments of Bipolar-ness. For example, if I have to cancel plans because depression has wiped me out again. Or when I'm talking so fast, no one can understand me. Or when I'm so irritated- you'd think it was PMS on crack, or something. Or when I "accidentally" spent way too much money, then regret it the next day (that's a mania thing- and a problem I face regularly when dealing with a hypomanic episode).
I believe people deserve to know why I get grumpy... It's nothing personal- I just have a mood disorder which messes with me. Yes- I have a reason for my acting suddenly aloof and unsocial (though not to be used as an "excuse"- there's a difference).
4. To be honest
I just don't feel like hiding it anymore. Though Bipolar doesn't define me, it does help to explain my lifestyle and behavior patterns. Do I have to tell everyone out on the streets? Of course not. But if it comes up, there's no reason to pretend it's not there- not for me, at least.
I figure, if it makes someone uncomfortable- good. Either they will grow up and face hard things, or they will get out of my way. I don't want to chill with close-mindedness, anyway.
Besides, being honest gives me the freedom to just be me. Managing Bipolar is draining enough- having to lie and hide about my illness just adds to the stress. Who needs that crap?
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3. To eradicate the stigma
A lot of us are joining hands to talk about Bipolar just to take away the stigma that comes with mental illness. I've kept it from several people only to see the shocked look on their face when I tell them I have Bipolar. "What? But you're so normal" YEAH! We are! We're all normal! (Except for when we meet up in the middle of the night at the Psych ward to do haunted houses.)
Seriously! What do you expect?
People fear others with mental illness. (Come to think of it, those with mental illness fear mental illness. They delay getting help because they already have an idea of what mental illness means...) They have this image in their head of people rocking back and forth with hair unkempt and drooling- muttering to themselves in straight jackets in a concrete room. Or an idea that if you have a mental illness you are dangerous and untrustworthy.
Not true.
We're people, guys. Just regular people. You deal with hay fever? I deal with Bipolar. We're not all that different. And the sooner people realize this, the less we'll be targeted and judged, the more we'll feel that it's okay to seek help.
2. To help others
Learning to live with a mental health issue is an uphill battle. Having to face it on your own is terrifying. I talk about it because my words might reach someone who is struggling, and give them comfort to know they are not alone. I know I have reached some in the past who were scared, or who felt out of place. I was able to give them hope.
I spoke with a group of young adults alongside my husband a couple years ago. One young woman came up to me and thanked me for sharing. She also had Bipolar, and she was under the impression that she would never get married because of her illness. Now, because I disclosed mine, she saw hope for a brighter future.
God made me this way for a reason, and I believe part of that reason is to reach out and help others if I can. We're in this together.
1. To help myself
I'm not going to lie to you. I talk about Bipolar primarily to help me deal with it. It's good talk therapy to just let it out sometimes. If I keep it to myself, Bipolar becomes this giant omnipotent cloud that could devour me at any minute. Talking about it changes that cloud into something tangible. It's brought back down to earth and instead of a black hole, it's just a thorny bush. Bipolar is just a health issue, after all- but it's one I can deal with and manage.
I also talk about it because it gives me the strength to face it every day.